Switched On – Understanding and Coping with Grief: Talking About Loss

Grief is something every person experiences at some point in life. It is our natural response to loss. Most often when someone we love dies, but also when we experience other significant life changes such as the end of a relationship, losing a job, changes in health, or moving away from home.

Although grief is universal, the way we experience it is deeply personal. There is no “right way” to grieve and no set timeline for when grief should end. Each person’s journey through loss is unique.

What grief can feel like?

Grief can affect our emotions, thoughts, and even our physical wellbeing. Some people experience intense sadness, while others feel numb or disconnected. You may notice waves of different emotions, sometimes changing from day to day.

Experiences of grief can include:

  • Sadness or tearfulness
  • Shock or numbness
  • Anger or frustration
  • Guilt or regret
  • Anxiety or loneliness
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Changes in sleep or appetite

Grief can feel overwhelming at times, but it is part of the human process of adjusting to loss.

Understanding the grieving process:

You may have heard of several stages of grief:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While this framework can help people understand some of the emotions associated with loss, grief rarely follows a neat or predictable order.

Instead, many people experience grief more like waves. Some days may feel manageable, while other days bring powerful reminders of the loss. Over time, these waves often become less overwhelming, although memories and emotions may still surface during important moments or anniversaries.

Talking about loss:

One of the most helpful ways to cope with grief is to talk about it. Yet conversations about loss can feel uncomfortable, both for those grieving and for those supporting them.

If you are grieving, you might worry about burdening others. If someone you care about is grieving, you may be afraid of saying the wrong thing.

But silence can sometimes make grief feel more isolating.

Talking about loss can help us:

  • Express difficult emotions
  • Make sense of what has happened
  • Feel less alone
  • Keep the memory of loved ones alive

Sometimes the most meaningful support is simply being listened to with kindness and patience.

Loss without death:

When people think about grief, they often think about the death of a loved one. However, grief can also occur when we experience significant life changes or the loss of something important to us, even when no one has died.

These types of losses can still bring feelings of sadness, confusion, anger, or uncertainty. Because they are not always recognised in the same way as bereavement, people may sometimes feel that their grief is misunderstood or overlooked.

Examples of non-death loss can include:

  • The end of a relationship or divorce
  • Loss of health or receiving a serious diagnosis
  • Losing a job or career change
  • Loss of independence or mobility
  • Moving away from home or community
  • Changes in family relationships
  • Retirement or major life transitions

These experiences can affect a person’s sense of identity, routine, or future plans. It is normal to grieve these changes while adjusting to a new chapter of life.

Grief in the workplace:

Grief does not stay at home when someone returns to work. Many people continue working while grieving, often carrying emotional exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, and reduced energy.

Workplaces can play an important role in supporting staff experiencing loss. Small acts of understanding can make a meaningful difference.

Supportive workplaces may:

  • Allow time and space to adjust after bereavement
  • Offer flexibility where possible
  • Check in with empathy rather than expectations
  • Avoid assumptions about how long grief should last

A supportive workplace culture can help people feel less alone during difficult times.

 

Supporting children through loss:

Children experience grief too, but they may express it differently from adults. Some children may ask many questions, while others may become quiet or show changes in behaviour.

Children often move in and out of grief, they might feel upset one moment and return to play shortly afterwards. This is a normal part of how they process difficult emotions.

Ways to support children include:

  • Being honest using age-appropriate language
  • Reassuring them that their feelings are normal
  • Encouraging them to talk, draw, or express emotions creatively
  • Maintaining familiar routines where possible

Feeling safe, supported, and able to ask questions helps children process loss.

When grief feels complicated:

For many people, grief gradually softens over time. However, sometimes grief can feel overwhelming or persistent in ways that make daily life very difficult.

This is sometimes referred to as complicated grief or prolonged grief, where intense feelings of loss continue for a long period and interfere with everyday functioning.

If grief feels stuck or unmanageable, speaking to a GP, counsellor, or bereavement support service can be an important step.

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