Navigating Grief and Looking After Yourself this Christmas

It’s so important to acknowledge that for many, Christmas can be a deeply difficult time of year. The pressure to be joyful, to participate in holiday celebrations, and the expectation of “family togetherness” can feel overwhelming—especially if you’re dealing with grief, loneliness, or simply feeling disconnected from the festive spirit.

If you’re dreading Christmas or feeling the weight of it, here are some gentle ways to help you navigate the season:

1. Prioritise Self-Care and Kindness to Yourself

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay not to feel “Christmas cheer.” If you’re struggling, that’s valid, and it’s crucial to allow yourself to experience your emotions. If you’re grieving, if you feel isolated, or if the holiday is just hard for whatever reason—give yourself permission to feel what you feel, without judgment.
• Gentle Routines: Try to keep your days as stress-free as possible. A gentle routine—like waking up at your own pace, eating nourishing food, or taking moments to breathe deeply—can help create a sense of calm amidst the chaos.
• Rest and Recharge: It might feel counterintuitive in a season where everyone is bustling but taking the time to rest and recharge is vital. Whether it’s taking naps, reading a book, or simply sitting in silence, give yourself permission to step back.

2. Set Boundaries for Yourself

• Decline Social Invitations: If the thought of holiday parties or family gatherings is overwhelming, it’s okay to say no. It’s not selfish to prioritize your emotional well-being. You don’t need to explain yourself or justify your decision to anyone.
• Step Away from social media: Social media can be a minefield during the holidays. If the constant stream of happy family photos or cheerful holiday posts is making you feel worse, take a break. You don’t need to participate in the online festivities if it adds to your distress.
• Create Space for Grief: If you’re missing a loved one, Christmas might bring up particularly painful feelings. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way. It’s okay to feel sadness, anger, or even relief if those emotions arise.

3. Engage in Simple Activities That Bring You Peace

• Nature Walks: If you’re able, a winter walk can help clear your mind and give you space away from everything. Being outdoors—no matter the weather—can offer a sense of tranquillity and connection to something larger than yourself.
• Creative Outlets: Engage in a creative project that helps keep your mind occupied. Whether it’s knitting, painting, writing, or even starting a jigsaw puzzle, focusing on a simple task can offer a sense of accomplishment and a quiet form of self-expression. A DIY kit, like the one you’re planning to get from Wool and the Gang, is a lovely way to stay engaged and creative during those quieter moments between Christmas and New Year.
• Comforting Rituals: Small moments of comfort—like curling up with a novel or watching a favourite film—can provide solace. Maybe make yourself a cup of hot chocolate or tea, bake some cake, or listen to soothing music. These small pleasures can bring lightness and calm.

4. Honour Your Loved Ones

• Remember with Love: If you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, try to find ways to honour them, whether it’s through talking about them, looking at old photos, or sharing fond memories with those who knew them. You might also write a letter to them or light a candle in their memory.
• Laugh, If You Can: While this may feel impossible at times, try to find moments to laugh. Watch a funny movie, listen to comedy podcasts, or recall a funny memory of your loved one. Sometimes laughter is a healing balm for pain.
• Create New Traditions: If the holiday feels too loaded with old expectations, consider creating a new tradition that feels right for you. It doesn’t have to be grand. Maybe it’s cooking a meal you love, journaling your thoughts, or doing something small and meaningful that feels like a tribute to your own well-being.

5. Be Kind to Yourself About What You “Should” Be Doing

• Let Go of Expectations: If you’re struggling, remind yourself that it’s okay not to do everything “perfectly.” You don’t have to go to every event, send cards to everyone, or even decorate if it feels like too much. Let go of the notion that you have to meet a certain standard of what Christmas “should” look like.
• Do What Feels Right for You: If you feel like curling up in a blanket and taking a nap, or staying in your pajamas for the day, go for it. If you want to skip the grand family dinner, that’s okay too. The holidays are not a one-size-fits-all experience, and it’s perfectly valid to adjust them to suit where you’re at emotionally.

6. Reach Out for Support When Needed

• Talk to Someone You Trust: Sometimes just talking about what you’re feeling, even if it’s difficult, can provide some relief. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, reaching out for support can help you feel less alone.
• Join Support Groups: There are also online or local support groups for people dealing with grief or mental health struggles, where you can connect with others who understand exactly what you’re going through.

7. Know That You’re Not Alone

• Many people feel a sense of isolation, particularly around the holidays, and you are not alone in your experience. It’s okay to not feel happy or festive. Be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time, and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can in difficult circumstances.

Christmas, like any time of year, can be complex and challenging. Remember that it’s okay to create your own version of the season that nurtures you and brings you peace. You don’t have to adhere to society’s idea of what Christmas should look like. Just surviving and making it through—no matter how you do it—is enough.