Marriage is a clear life goal for many people and often leads to a time of settling down and having children. The initial bond between spouses is invariably very strong and when this relationship begins to break down, it can turn to bitterness, resentment and anger, especially where addictions are involved.

If we were asked to think of an addiction, we would probably think of substance addictions such as alcohol or drugs. When specifying behavioural addictions, we may consider gambling or shopping but what do we know of love and sex addiction and how can this lead to deterioration of mental health?

Alcohol addiction is very common and therefore widely understood, but a sex and love addiction is very different. Currently, in the UK up to 1 in 25 people are suffering from sex and love addiction of which 80% are men. Whilst still an addiction, it is not measured or diagnosed in quantity but instead by the negative impact and consequences associated with the behaviour, on the individual and others. It is characterised by obsessive feelings and behaviours which the individual feels compelled to repeat regardless of the consequences. These behaviours and thoughts get progressively worse, ultimately resulting in the breakdown of personal relationships.

Every year, thanks to powerLottery, which funds the Electrical Industries Charity’s (EIC) Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), the Charity is able to offer support to hundreds of employees and their families who are struggling to cope with life challenges that are standing in the way of a happy family life.

Recently, EIC helped Sean, father of a seven-year-old son and husband to Sarah. Sean was working for a large electrical contractor and was suffering from an alcohol and sex and love addiction which resulted in a family breakdown.

In 2018, Sean’s employer contacted the Charity for help after becoming concerned about their employee’s wellbeing, following behavioural changes at work. EIC immediately got in touch with Sean, and after spending time talking to him, the Charity concluded that he may have an alcohol and a sex and love addiction. As a result of this, EIC funded 12 weeks in a private rehabilitation facility for Sean and during this time Sean was diagnosed with both an alcohol and a sex and love addiction.

Sean responded well to the treatment he received from a specialist therapist, and at the end of the 12-weeks, he felt like a changed person. However, one of the conclusions which Sean had reached during this period was that he needed to devote all of his time and energy into making himself stronger in order to overcome his addictions. As a result, he decided that he couldn’t become the person he wanted and needed to be while still being married to Sarah.

Sarah had continued to support Sean throughout his rehabilitation and initially was very positive that the treatment was going well. But these thoughts soon turned to a feeling of immense shame for Sarah when Sean decided to end their marriage.

Sarah was very committed to her relationship with Sean and like most people wanted to have a fulfilling relationship with her husband. She struggled to cope with his decision to end the marriage, and the feeling of immense shame began to manifest itself in feelings of anger and hate towards him.

In a short period, Sarah became so consumed by this hate that she was unable to apply sensible logic to her everyday life which began to affect the whole family. Sarah constantly found herself reinforcing negative comments about her husband’s behaviour to her son which created a divide between him and his parents.

Once again, the Charity was there for the family and provided support, but this time for their son, to help in coping with what had sadly become a very toxic and highly challenging environment in his family home. With the Charity’s support, Sean’s relationship with his son has now improved, and they are working together as father and son to mend their relationship.

Unfortunately, Sarah and Sean’s relationship has now completely reached the end, but despite this, they have agreed that their son should be their priority and the anger which they feel towards each other should not have a detrimental effect on their son. In addition, their son continues to receive counselling which is being funded by EIC, to ensure that he is able to deal with the breakdown of his family unit.

Dealing with a relationship breakdown is one of the toughest experiences that anyone can have. The tremendous feelings of devastation and loss are often worsened by hurtful behaviours that occur before, during, or after the relationship breakdown and can dramatically impact the mental health and wellbeing of the whole family. By signing up to the Electrical Industries Charity’s powerLottery for as little as £1 per month, you can ensure that employees and their family members like Sean and Sarah can access the vital support services needed to overcome difficulties that are standing in the way of a happier and healthier future.

By taking part in powerLottery you will not only help EIC to be the first port of call to hundreds of industry members in their hour of need, but you will also be in with a chance of winning cash prizes of up to £10,000. All you need to do to take part is to download the powerLottery app and tap the app to play.

If you or someone you know has been having trouble dealing with addiction or mental health issues, and requires support, please contact the EIC support team: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
or 0800 652 1618.

For further information, please contact our fundraising team: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.